Back To The Poop Got Cats?
Got Cats?


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Does a cat own you? Thought so. your house bears the signs. The cupboards are closed, no appliance cords are hanging off the edge of the counter and the TP is loaded onto the spindle backwards so the cat won't peel off every inch when it's pissed. With cats, not a lot of smarts going on here, just your basic "Rodent Operating System". The image on the left is an example of severe driver conflict. This cat needs thirteen hours of re-boot time and will probably get it on, or inside of something you care a lot about not getting hair all over.

  Though Cats reserve the right to get mad whenever they want, it's not always a good idea to piss them off with retaliation. Cats don't handle punishment very well.You think your just going to give your cat that pill? We'll see. First you have to catch-em. Then you have to medicate him/her. good luck. As long as you think "its for his own good, it'll be alright when its over. Not so. What ever it takes to get the job done, the cat remembers it was you that forced it upon him. Retrieve the cat from the top of the cabinet and try again. This time you had better use the cooking mitts to reduce the injuries to your hands as you readdress the situation. Push pill into the side of kitties mouth toward the back and attempt to retract oven mitt without tarring it. In the time it takes you to retrieve the pill from the potted plant, the cat has had a few minutes to calm down on top of the fridge.

Some say you can wrap the cat in a towel but you inevitably use it to absorb the blood from your own wounds. Its just best to follow to instructions I gave for crushing the pill into a spoon and using an eyedropper to administer the fluid that the cat cant spit out. If you upset the cat too much, you'll definitely know it. Last time I did that, He parted out my computer for beer money. Last week about noonish, he was staring at a bird that was just outside the screen door. His bottom lip started to quiver and he slunkered down into the launch position. His head was lower than the tin plate covering the bottom fifth of the screen like he could see through it or something as he prepared for the strike. Then, the noise was BOOMING! Apparently, he surmised he could pass through and between the complex molecules that comprise the aluminum plate at the bottom of the door. Though it was a stupid idea, he gets an A for effort. I give him an 8 for the launch and good straight form, and I had to give him a 10 this time for the impact because it shook the kitchen window. Nice try bonehead.

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